I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
