Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Help. Why am I so naked?
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