There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
