I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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