She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
