me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
