What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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