Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
