I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
