Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
