I can tuck mytits in my pants
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
