Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
one might say we're banned from that church
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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