I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize