Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
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And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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