Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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