no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
