Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
