I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
