You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
