We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
