i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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