There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
