When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
