Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cockslap morals
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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