She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
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Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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