I'm going to jail i love you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i came on her dog
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
