He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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