you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
