P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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