so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
