she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
