She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
