did you get engaged???
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize