Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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