...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize