You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize