i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
