we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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