Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
