I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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