STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is Oprah even human
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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