this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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