The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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