Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
