I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize