I think I died a long time ago.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
