I am in a vortex of obligation.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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