Yo dont text me then not text me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
