Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
