Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
