Sponge bath it is.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
