I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
