nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize