Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
