Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
