the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
