Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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