y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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