I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
